M.I.A (Draft)

But the worst pain of all is being in a relationship and feeling completely lost and alone. Losing yourself searching for who you think you want to be.

Nobody ever tells you how scary that is. It's all a façade of happy snap chats and showing-face together. Because deep down it seems like a substitute to real happiness, if you can fool yourself too.  That self that's slowly fading gets easier to hide away.

What is happiness now? It's just the moment right before you need more happiness. 

Then the questions arise, the doubt within the current situation, onset of desiring more happiness: is it greed? Is it addiction?

Isn't this where I'm supposed to be? 

Does this mean I've become complacent,  or maybe they are complacent?

Am I good enough? What's good enough?

Why do I feel so misplaced ? 

Misunderstood? 

Mis... Missing? 

Tearing my two selves apart

Torn between absolute selfless unconditional love, 

And the selfishness it's pain creates.

Anne Archer 

May 2015

Intoxicated

Anne Archer 

It may get weird, but you'll like it.

I never wanted to find someone as weird as me, because that's my forte, that's what makes me so special. 

I wanted to find someone who understands and loves my weirdness. Because that's what makes them so special to me. 

Anne Archer 

April 2015

The Genesis of Cheating

In the beginning God created Adam and Eve. I always wondered why he only created one couple, that's not destiny, fate or any sort of romantic story we believe that couples should come together from. That's just no choice.

But it just made me think, and think, then over think (my standard thinking patten of corse): Maybe this is the root of all relationship issues. Maybe there's something to be said about forcing only ONE couple together in order to populate the earth.

 

Is it human nature that when overwhelmed with choice we tend to make the wrong ones?
we get greedy and complicate things? Are we really monogamous creatures?

Where did this idea evolve from that we associate "true love" with destiny and fate?

What if God created more than one inital couple, would Adam still have supported Eves act of greed and disloyally when she ate the forbidden fruit? If he had a choice would he have walked away and tried his "fate" with someone else? Then it could have been Adam and Sarah.

...but Sarah is really in love with Thomas, who is sleeping with Eve, who is pregnant to Adam.

Now, without being blasphemous- that's a book of Genesis I wouldn't mind getting stuck into.

So I guess cheating was around from the very beginning. Although there was only one couple they still cheated the only other person present- God. Adding people to the equation certainly complicated things.

I mean, when did we decide that it's easier to just end things rather than trying and working to fix them, and why do we think we even have such a choice?

There was a point where I just could not believe that we as humans are born as monogamous creatures, and still don't believe some people are. But now I'm beginning to think we are just greedy creatures who are surrounded by choice and availability to take advantage of.

On the topic of choice, when we have options at a buffet why do we over eat, as opposed to a la carte when 

I'm struggling to not continue my tangent of rhitorical questions for another several paragraphs. I usually have answers, conclusions or some sort of closure. 

But from the advice of my best friend as she read over my blog pre post, I'll just leave it at this. A simple but deep ponder, just thinking out loud in the style ofCarrie  Bradshaw.

Good night lovers, chose wisely, not lazily.

Anne Archer

April 2015

Empty Threats

I'd like to think you could feel threatened by me telling you how easily I can emotionally detach. 

Inevitably, I'll hurt you but I promise never intentionally. 

Because the saddest truth is:

I could never allow myself to emotionally attach in the first place anyway. 

I'm so concerned with protecting myself from exactly what I'm doing to you. 

Anne Archer

April 2015

When you introduced me to insanity.

Anne Archer

April 2015