Your heart will only get dirty if you wear it on your sleeve

Most people have already established their intentions with you before getting to know you. 

When they realise that you will not fulfil their selfish intentions- they will waste no time cutting you off before you've even let them in.

This will be the best thing that happens to you. Waste no time letting them go, they have nothing to add to your value.

Anne Archer

April 2015

Well Balanced Lies

I'm a terrible liar, I'd always be one to over think and your silence is the perfect catalyst for initating my thought process.

I wanted to tell you that slowly, you're breaking me, and if that was your intention, I'd rather you do it sooner than later. We've already made too many memories that are scarred into the walls of my mind for me to miss. 

I was already broken but now you're just trampling over the pieces and crumbling them beyond repair.  

But I didn't say that. Instead I looked into your eyes searching like an addict for some glimpse of your soul that may emerge and touch mine. 

My hopes were shattered when I still found your eyes were hollow, and I took the "sorry" that came from your mouth. Accepting your unexplained apology for your sudden empty and lacking voice and replied with "it's fine". 

I was taught unforgivness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. So I bit my tongue, because just hearing you say "sorry" made it seem as though everything was just "fine".

But I guess I should be the one who's sorry. 

Because as much as you say "sorry" and not mean it, when I say "I'm fine" I hardly ever really am, so are our lies toxic in spite of eachother? Or are they said with intentions to protect ourselves from one another? Either way I can't deny their selfishness. 

Anne Archer 

April 2015

How I met Love

The other night, I finally felt comfortable.

I was laying in his arms, legs draped over his and he moved my hand over his chest, placed it over his heart and held it there. 

The other night I felt my own love.

I always knew how hard and passionately I loved, I always thought its strength may scare someone- with its overwhelming power and lack of fear in conquering.

The other night I felt scared. 

I realised, It was my own love that was being reciprocated. 

It was as hard and passionate as I always believed it to be. It overcame me and I wanted to move my hand, but he held it there, as if he had felt the same and now I need to face and overcome it as he did.

He his hold was comforting.

The other night I felt faith. 

I felt the faith in my love,

He accepted it from me and then shared it with me. 

He overcame it and held my hand because he believed I could too.

I felt it it shoot into my fingers through his chest, into my arm, around my shoulder and down my spine. It woke the butterflies in my tummy, they flew into my head and came to lay in my heart, where the buzzing warmth settled.

The other night I knew I was not only alive, but I was living. I was loving and I was loved. 

The other night I felt love, a love I'd never felt. I recognised it although I'd never really met it, and have felt it every night since. 

Anne Archer 

April 2015

Our choices seal our fate

I didn't "fall" in love with you. 

I walked right into it with you. 

Consciously taking every step along side you. 

I believe in fate and destiny- but I believe we chose our fate, our choices are fated, fate is but the consequence of choice, and we would not be fated with other than what we'd chose regardless. 

And I'd chose you, with my two most inner and vital organs- mind and heart open, I'd chose you. 

Now, tomorrow, in a million years in any lifetime or version of reality; I'd find you, and I'd chose you- forever. 

Anne Archer 

New year- Same me

As cliche as it sounds 2015 has bought about a new year- new attitude that I've comfortably transitioned into. Not new me, but having a new everyone else, eliminating toxic relationships and

bad energies to make room for me and myself.

It's just another calendar date but somehow we all feel it's a justified fresh start. If there's one thing 2015 is already showing me it's that again, the year will fly. It's time to stop the resolution talk and start the resolution action. 

Many of us have made our list of goals that I can guarantee are all looking very tangible right now. 

Something along the broad lines of: Save, Travel, some career change or keeping study focused and something about being healthy.. which involves doing a gigantic shop while in gym apparel for clean foods we will probably never actually bother eating after mid Feburary.

Not so tangible now right? 

It's actually quite overwhelming when you put all these goals into achievable perspective. 

Let me give you a starting point... YOU.

Into my third post-grad degree (that's right, three unfinished uni courses, no degree and a huge debt later) and I have finally found my calling. I guess third time really is the charm. 

The biggest lesson I've taken from 2014 is to 'just go with it'. I put so much pressure and expectations on myself that weren't my own- they were for everyone else. 

Doing an absolute 360 with your life is difficult and sometimes shameful to tell people. Believe it or not, not many people actually know what they want in life, and getting to the point of certainty takes time. However even when you don't know what you want as long as you Just go with it, there is no doubt you will get where you need to be. 

I'm not saying don't set goals. I'm saying don't stress about setting expectations that overwhelm you, because they are clearly not your own expectations. 

Take your time in life, it's easy to go nowhere in a hurry- life is meant to be lived along with your goals. Create a destination but don't miss the journey along the way,  your journey is the only thing that will prepare you for your destination. 

Anne Archer

January 2015

Investing: Quality over quantity

There is a distinct difference between being cocky and being confident and secure.
This creates a thin line between being strong and being insecure.

The facade of a strong, cocky man is common and fools many other fools
who are trying to fool themselves.
But for a strong, secure man these fools are very much transparent.
Easily spotted with their eyes focused on everyone else except their
own happiness, so caught up in creating an image produced out of the
fools around them that their originality is lost in the process.

Can you spot the fools or are you becoming a clone too?
Take a look at how transparent these people are based on their lack of
quality, It’s become so difficult to spot good quality amongst the
imitations however  it’s easy to see the cracks if you just take the
time.

But don't waste your time draining your finances on imitations, and trying
to prove their price to others and yourself- focused only on monetary
value.

They don't last long, they hold no value and are there to impress
everyone else, only producing outgoing negative energy that you will gluttonously indulge in and become a part of- wanting more cheap imitations to compensate for all it lacks.

But originals, well originals feel different, they have an addictive
energy and wit that you crave to be around, that you feed off, that feels
amazing and lasts longer than any imitation will. You’ve worked hard
for it and you’re happy with just the one because you know it will
last and you will never find yourself justifying how genuine it is to
anyone else.
People know by the way you treat it, the way you handle
it and how content you are with it, the important thing is that you
know how real it is.

Invest in quality and benefit in positive value, become strong, truly
strong and secure, because anyone can be just strong. It takes real
strength to be secure.

Pebbles

There is a pebble in my shoe. I feel it in every step I take, it has
bothered me all day, I’ve had many opportunities to take it out but
have not bothered enough to stop, bend down, take my shoe off, find my
balance on one leg and shake out the pebble.

What keeps me almost content about keeping this pebble in my shoe is
the idea that when I get home and take off my shoes I will take it out.

However deep down I know that when I do get home I will be so keen to
get on my Uggs that I probably won’t even take the time to shake out
that pebble, because it’s not bothering me now.

The next time I wear those shoes I will know they have the pebble in
them and slip them straight on continuing with my initial mindset of the day the pebble was first in them.

However what if there was another pebble in there now? Two pebbles.
Would that constitute enough motivation for me to stop, bend down,
take my shoe off, find my balance on one leg and shake out both the
pebbles?

Sometimes we let things go that have such simple solutions initially.
why is it we need to accumulate the pebbles in our shoes before we take
the time to stop, bend down, take our shoe off, find our balance on one
leg and shake out all our pebbles?

I've become somewhat complacent of my pebble, even almost accepting it by walking in a way that accommodates the discomfort so the pebble is a bit more tolerable.

I have every intention of removing it for I know its not meant to be there.
But I need to seize time to stop, feel comfortable enough to take off my shoe, find my own balance on one leg and shake out my pebble so its no longer mine. Left visible on the pavement, put back on my shoe and learn to walk properly once again without my pebble.

Anne Archer
June 2014